remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
