No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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