Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
