It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
