but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
