i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
