were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
