your parents love me but you hate me
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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