Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
