are you still at the devil's house?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize