i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
