If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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