I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
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He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
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How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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