Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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