her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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