ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
