when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
They took my balls.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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