Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
