Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You left your phone here
Wait...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
