i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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