You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize