you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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