nut hugger
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize