You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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