Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
