So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
