You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
