I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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