he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
