So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
