Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
