Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
