He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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