u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
