You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
