I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize