He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
