dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
