Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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