Banned from zoo.
Again?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
