Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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