This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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