I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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