Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She needs sedatives and a leash
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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