I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize