I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
