Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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