when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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