I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
