You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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