he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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