Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
time to smoke my breakfast
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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