why didn't you poke me back
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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