Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
