I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
