What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
