Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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