will power is for people who don't want to get laid
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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