i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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