bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
