Do you still have your period?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
