I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize