today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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