Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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